Changing

So...
just feel like streaming my consciousness...

Was up late last night tidying up my nightstand area. I have GOT to get the magazine thing under control, but having shelves of them right here was making me claustrophobic and the mess was just increasing by the day. So, moved them into the blue room, and set up my actual Nightstand, complete with a silver tray which holds my water bottle, a lovely stone that holds a few pairs of earrings, one of our wedding pictures, a little buddha incense holder which actually holds little stones and rocks from the beach, and my lip stuff. Next to that my laptop can sit, so I don't give myself carpal tunnel each time I put it down and lift it up one handed.
On the little bookshelf next to it in the corner is another beautiful silver tray (love getting them at thrift stores and second hand stores, deeply discounted because of a "flaw" - what do I care about flaws?? still lovely to me). On this tray is a cannister filled with dried lavender flowers, a lamp I got out of someone's trash and put a new lampshade on it, a picture of Max, a little silver heart thingy that holds the hair they shaved off him arm to give him 'the shot'. :(
It was an afterthought before we left him that day at the vet... it was just laying there, and I've thought for years how much I love his beautiful fur, the look and feel of it... so, I took a little piece of him with him.
I still miss him so much. My big beautiful man. It was 3 months on Friday. I told Michael that the 3 months we've been without him feels like so much longer than the 13 years I had him.
I'd give anything if he hadn't gotten sick this spring and was still here enjoying life with us.
My heart still hurts.
Also a candle which I fully intend to light from time to time, a little hinged marble box that holds more earrings, and a little thermometer thingy I've had since I was a girl.
Also, on the wall, above my nightstand is Max's collar and tags. I like it there. Sometimes I rattle the tags just to hear 'his sound'. Lucy and Trixie always look up when they hear it....I know they still miss him too. I feel so bad for little Schmoop. I don't know if she *knows* what happened to him.... why he's never come back home. I feel like she feels adrift. She is close to Lucy now, and has for some time, so I'm thankful for that. But.... the hub of our wheel is forever gone, and while we've learned how to continue on without him, the journey just isn't the same.

On a more superficial unimportant level - I'm REALLY annoyed with the plumber that came on Friday to "fix" the tub. Ok, maybe he fixed Something - I'm told he did anyway. But - BUT!!! - the new water level thingy that replaced the old water spout - well!!!!
Turns out the new model has a overflow space where water Flows thru if the level gets up there.
Guess where that is on the tub??
Not even Halfway!!
WHAT is the point of having a nice deep tub if "regulations" make it drain less than halfway full????
Luckily, I know just how to solve this tricky wicket - Caulk is my friend!! :)
Ain't nobody gonna mess with My bathtime!
I like my bathwater Hot, Bubbly and Filled to the Rim thank you very much!!
Something to drink, maybe a little snack, a facial mask, plenty to read, candles.... when I do it up right, I can be there for hours.
ahhhhh......

Anyhooo... it's now the next day since I started this post.
Was gonna talk about other things changing - like my new exercise routine, and the Fearless Living stuff I'm doing, but... I sorta have a headache now and need to reboot the laptop on top of it.
So, more later.