So, yeah......

I'm so unfocused right now.
Part of why I haven't been blogging. Don't know where to start, what to talk about...
much like my messy messy messy messy cluttered house. It's so messy and cluttered I can't think or see straight. I need to Seriously declutter and get my shit straight... but, Ohhhh the effort. And like, Every room needs stuff done to it!
Not to mention actually Cleaning shit!!!
Oy.

So, watched Hotel Rwanda last night. Took us forever to finally put it in the dang ole dvd player. Once in, I wanted to take it out. So hard to watch. Glad we did though.... decent happy ending in a gruesome tale.
Today I'm gonna watch my James Spader movie I've had forever and a Stewie Griffin special, and then in the mail they go so we can get new fun from Netflix!

It just feels like sometimes there's So much to do.. so much I'm behind on, so much that I FORGET I have to do, but know it's Something, lurking, waiting.... it just makes me positively inactive. Total inertia.
Which is odd.... in my jobs as a nanny or household manager or housesitter or whatever - I'm SO good at organizing and tidying up other people's shit. Excellent at it. And I feel a great sense of accomplishment when I do.
Like last week - I cleaned up Laura's dresser.
This entailed taking everything off, rearranging, even all her little jewelry boxes.. took ALL her jewelry out and put it on the bed, catagorized it, condensed it... and it made me feel SO good!
But when it comes to MY shit - WTF is wrong with me?????

I now have a lot of "free time", but where the fuck does it go???? How is it now that I have just ONE dog walking job to alllll day - granted, with travel, it takes about 2 hours, but, most days, I can just Barely manage to accomplish that! Like, seriously - nothing else gets done!

Part of the problem may be what's going on right now. My sleep schedule is erratic.
Went to bed on the late side - 1:00ish... woke at 6:00ish... now it's almost 8:00ish... I feel like once I finish here, and maybe surf a couple more blogs, I'll go back to sleep.. probably til noon or so, if I'm lucky... but then, that's more than half the daylight hours today... and I May, in two shifts, get a full night's sleep out of it. But then I'll lay here, watch tv, try to read, make us "breakfast"... maybe take a bath.... then it'll be dark! And my inclination to crawl back in bed and snuggle up for the night will kick in, and I'll have gotten NOTHING DONE!
We'll see how it goes, but I"m not predicting a good successful productive day.
Dammit.
Something else is going on here... maybe if I 'blog'/journal long enouogh, it will reveal itself to me.
I feel it lurking under the surface....
alas.... i Am feeling sleepy now.. so, gonna go noodle on it for a bit and see what I come up with.
Maybe my dreams will reveal all.
Or, if I"m lucky, James Spader will visit me and we'll make fantastic naughty love and I'll wake up in a great mood and ready to roll! ;)