INXS performing already!!!

For my fellow JD lovers out there, take note - it looks like they'll be on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on Friday night!!!! Whoo hooooo

THE WINNER!!!!!!

Ain't he purty????
Yeaaaaaaaaaa - JD won!
The new lead singer of, our band, INXS.
:)

My girl Janelle didn't win Big Brother, but, I know she'll do more than fine, as will Howie and Kaysar....

However - JD (easily) beat out Mig and Marty tonight.
Some of them were really good, but there just wasn't any question who should lead this band, following on the heels of Michael Hutchence.
I don't get the hatas out there... so he had an 'attitude' - it was Confidence and Dreams, man! It was destiny... and I will soooo buy the new CD.

God it was so freaking humid today. UGH.
Just rather unbearable. I can't live on a day like this. AND - got a lovely migraine to top it off.
That was fun. Took 1 1/2 Imitrex to get rid of it. When you only have 18 for the month, that's bad.

Sweetie was just looking at the Schnauzer magazine I got today at Petsmart.
Never cared about reading breed-specific things before, since I don't really care what breed my babies are when they come to me. But, especially after getting Lady, and seeing how "Beagley" she is, and having lived with Lulu's unique traits for 2 years, and trying to treat her skin problems, decided to look them up. Lulu is SUCH a Schnauza - it's so funny.
Tonight when Sweetie came home, she sang such a song!! She does every day, mostly for him, but this one was truly different. She's so funny.
Hearing the excerpts he read led me to look up Schnauzer rescues online, and while I didn't find any close to me - NOT that we're looking - just wanted to see what the resources are out there - again, logged onto a site that showed me all the other local babies who URGENTLY need homes.
:(
It's so sad.. There was one especially, Calamity Jane, a Staffordshire Terrier, whose owners just gave her up one day, at 8 yrs old, and walked away. How can people live with themselves??? HOW can they abandon their babies????????
Seriously.
If I was making a life change where I had to ultimately take my dog or cat to a shelter and just Leave it - I would be making a different life change!!!! Nothing is written in stone... Life is ALL about choice!! "My new apartment won't take pets" - then DON'T MOVE THERE!!!
"my new S.O. doesn't like my pet" - THEN DUMP THEM!
Oh, this is rich - I went to Petsmart today, like I mentioned, and there were several kitties in there... reading their tags about why they were "surrendered" - UGH! "Travel too much", "allergies", "peed on the floor" - GEE, you ASSHOLES! WHY did you get them in the first place?????
My cat peed on the floor too! You know why??? She had a UTI! Duh! Which she is now on medicine for, and she's getting better. My poor Max messed on the floor many many times in the last couple years. Yes, it was tiresome at times, but... he was our BABY. Our FAMILY. We found ways around it, ways to cope.... You DO what you Gotta DO! And when it's a member of your FAMILY - there should not be any confusion as to what to do!!!!

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
THIS is why I hate people so much sometimes. Honestly. The ignorance and apathy and just general all around incompetence at LIFE astounds and infuriates me.

Cutest little girl ever

We just watched "In America" last night (thanks Netflix!), and one of the girls in it was the most precious thing I've ever seen. I hadn't really cared about seeing it - the little I read didn't spark my interest, but Sweetiedarling did, so, there ya go.
It was actually really good (4 stars). If we have an Aerin one day, I'd love it if she were like little Ariel in this movie.

Lil LadyLoo is working out so well. She's finally learned how to use the little stool to get up on the bench which gets her up on the bed (it's a tall bed). She pretty much lets us know when she has to go out.. though, when I'm home, I let them out all the time. She loves the food (Merrick, esp. Turducken!), seems to really enjoy having the company of two doggie sisters and two kitty sisters. And she Really has taken to Michael. She wags her tail like crazy when he's around.
So... I don't really have any bitterness towards her former owners. They obviously cared for and loved her a great deal, and gave her lots of love. The only thing that troubles me is sometimes when I go to pet her, she flinches a bit at my hand near her face. Don't wanna even think why that is, but, it IS getting better, as she realizes we would never strike her.

ONE WEEK til Fi comes!! I can't Wait!!! Can't Can't Can't Wait!!! : )
8 years is entirely too long between visits... last time she flew me to D.C. to stay for... hmm.. not sure how many days it was, but enough to do some sightseeing.. at the Zoo, and the Smithsonian, where we saw a fabulous showing of Lord Leighton's work, amongst others.
The cherry blossoms were in full bloom then.. probably the best time to see the Capital. And it was during Clinton's term, and well before anything scary had happened. So, it was all good.
She and I have been all over the globe since then... me moving to San Francisco from Indiana, and then back across the country again to here in Rhode Island with the love of my life...
She also drove all over the country and now is far far away on a tiny island with the love of her life...
It's all good. :)

Sweetie helped me SO MUCH yesterday, cleaning up the blue room. Dang - I shoulda taken a before pic. It was Really bad. But it's damn near livable now.. just need to finish organizing and sorting, and then cleaning, and it'll be all set for Fi to stay in.
Moved the futon up to the office - gonna try to lure the cats to start staying in there instead of the blue room... ordered a yellow pleather cover, which we hope will be better at repelling Bella's hair, which just goes Everywhere.
Today he chopped down a lot of our front bushes... going to do something out there next spring... either much better plantings, or build a proper porch. The little cement stoop ain't all that groovy, though it's ok. If Sweetie can do it, I think a porch would be fab.
Couldn't have a cuter little house here. I love it.

though..... drove to Karen's the other day, to pick up some meds for the dogs, and Max's records, and it was like another world out there. "South County" - which is not actually the name of ANY county in RI, but rather, a regional name that everyone here understands - is soooo different than the rest of the state. Reminded me so much of my house in Nashville Indiana, where I spent 6 lovely years all by myself.
And it was perfect, weather wise... a bit overcast, everything dewy and misty from a good solid rain the day before, not too hot... not cold enough to be chilled... and GREEN GREEN GREEN everywhere... lots and lots of trees and plants and bushes and... Ohhhhh... soooo lovely. Another world. I listened to my Antigone Rising cd, and it was perfect. Put me in a whole 'nother state of mind, which I seem to have needed, and which I'm trying to hang onto.

Time to go make a yummy meatloaf for dinner. Sweetie is off to Lowe's, getting boy stuff.

Anybody have any Netflix suggestions - your fave movies?? I have over 300 in my queue, but always up for ideas.

Hey ya'll!

I sure would love it if any of you passers-by would drop me a comment!! :)

I've just passed the 100 visitor mark... with nary a comment to show for it. :(

Purty please??
Let me know what your blog is so I can drop by.... love meeting new people. Don't let me sit here at this table all by my lonesome.....

thanks much.

Being a Pisces, I love water, but....

these are my babies.... Lulu, Schmoop and my Big Man in the back.
i miss him a lot.
i want him back.
:(

Not flooding the streets and not coming thru my kitchen ceiling.
Let me explain...
It's been as dry as the Sahara here this summer... hardly a rainfall to be had since May.
Not to say the air hasn't been a drippy mother, but... the land is parched. Thirsty as all hell.
So today we get our second big rain of the summer.. and it freaking FLOODS the place!!!
Couldn't make it to walk Casey even. Feel bad about that. Poor bubbaloo. Hope he held out ok.

So, when I got home, a lil bubble bath was in order... felt great.. didn't soak as long as I wanted or coulda, but... kinda wanted to just come to bed and watch tv.
Well, that didn't happen either.
Went downstairs to let the dogs out, and saw the kitchen floor was minorly flooded. And the ceiling giving me my second rainshower for the day.
Fucking plumbers. They were supposed to have fixed that shit two years ago.
Seems the stopper came undone in the water, and our antiquated system... well... let's just say all the dots aren't connected.
So... luckily for me, my honey is a handy dandy dude, and he thinks he can make it better tomorrow with a couple parts from Durfee.

Sooooooo.... I'd say the day has rather been a dud. Except for (shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) my head didn't hurt.

Survivor started tonight.
The person I thought would leave first was Not it. Typically, the oldest dude went first. Didnt help he Broke His BICEP!!! Ugh.
First leg took down Bobby John for crying out loud - I could NEVER do that show!
Not if you GAVE me a Million just for Doing it!

My girl

she'd kill me if she knew i put this up... but.. i love it.
my little girl.... not quite 'all grown up', but... definitely getting there.
isn't she beautiful?

Zomig

....my wonder drug for the day.
Have a few days til I can refill anything else - had one spray of Zomig left.. suffered with pain ALLL day, trying to get it to go away organically... nuthin doin.
After watching mom take so many drugs for so many years, I hate to admit I need and depend on any, but... i've been dealt this card, and relief like this didn't exist when I first started getting them.
I lost so many days of work, and school... no one seemed to understand what a "Migraine" was.... think they just saw me as weak and unable to deal with a 'little headache' or something.

whatever.

So.... Janelle fell off the dial last night, but apparently won round 2 today, so, Yea Janelle!
And JD is in the final 3 - as if there was any doubt!
He is soooo going to win.

I slept til freaking NOON today. Literally.
And getting up Then was a true struggle... only did because I had to go walk Casey, and let my own dogs out. Otherwise, I might have laid here all day.
I'm not sure what is going on with me.
I just have no energy, I'm tired, don't care to go out unless necessary....
I don't think I'm depressed though. I mean, I feel ok about life and stuff. I just like being home. And I like staying up late... always have. And it's been fucking HOT forever, and I just can't deal, so why shouldn't I stay in my cool dark cave all day???? Huh???

The only downside, frankly, to being so tired all the time, and dealing with these goddamned headaches so much, is my backlog of things to read and watch is Seriously a problem. My tivo is full up, I have stacks upon stacks of magazines and books I wanna read.. there are a Gajillion blogs and stuff I wanna read online....
Not to mention my house is a wreck and I need to keep it tidier. I need to hire a cleaning lady though. Never been fond of "cleaning". I Love making things look nice, and organizing, but the cleaning part, eh.
I can't have Fi seeing I live like a pig! Gotta get all those dust bunnies outta here!!!

Oh.. so in addition to reconnecting with Brini recently, and talking to Fi more and more and plus she's coming to visit... heard from Sunny today. An email out of the blue. She's been in my thoughts over these many months... haven't liked having that hanging out there, but... sometimes, space and time is needed in a relationship. And if you care about that person, when you hook back up, that 'void' shouldn't matter all that much. Not like you can do anything about it anyway.
Now if I could only figure out how to resolve the Lisa thing. THAT is seriously hanging over me.

However, what Is NOT hanging over me are my inlaws.
I don't miss them at all.
In fact, I think I saw K today.. he teaches in my town. Ugh. There was a new 'Wife Swap' on the other night, and this dad from Mass - I SWEAR he coulda been K's twin. M even thought so.
I can't, and won't, deal with him anymore.
I was ok with him before... was happy to have him at my wedding.. happy to have him as part of my family... happy that M was able to be around his brother at times..
but then, I *saw* the REAL person he is. And, that ain't for me. It's been 6 months since we spoke, and I think it's gonna be a lifetime before we ever do again. I'm clearly not his cup of tea - he made that VERY evident. And now, because of things that were said - nor is he mine. And I'm am Totally Fine with that.
Just as I'm totally fine with not ever talking to my dad's family again.
I thought of them the other day... thinking, gee, if I'm almost 40, then, a lot of them are Really Old now... wonder who else has dropped dead that I have no idea about?
It's not like I don't care about some of them, or wish I could be in touch... but.... in TEN YEARS since dad died - WHO amongst them has ever reached out to me? His only child. The only one who lived far away from the family. The only one with no other relatives to speak of.
Only Aunt Shirley, bless her. That was years ago now, but, it was something at least.
If dad knew how they Really were, he'd turn over in his grave.
But I know, and that's enough.

Elyse seems to have dropped off the face of the earth though. We haven't talked in like 2 months. She gets so busy with her life.... and she doesn't do email, which makes it tougher. Can't even drop her a line. But, some people, you just have to take them as they are, whether you 10o% like it or not. I don't like being judged, so it's not for me to judge her life choices. Lord knows I have before... a very Major life choice, but... what's done is done.

My life is awfully limited these days though. Without much people interaction that is. So, will I be able to still find things to write about? A daily blather seems ok. I mean, it's still ME.
Though, I did call ProActiv today and order some stuff. The people there are SO NICE on the phone. It's a pleasant surprise. Usually you get surly sorts, or those who want to rush you off the line. But those ProActiv folks - couldn't be nicer.

Have been enjoying my hour+ long soaks in the tub lately. I usually take them when I just Really need to Feel like I'm relaxing and unwinding... which includes when I've gotten overheated and frazzled, like today. Having to go out in the Hot Bright Sun when I have a migraine, and drive.. that's enough for me. Got home, filled the tub, and just Soaked for a spell. Called the proactiv folks tubside. :) Enjoyed a nice glass of my ginger peach iced tea. mmmm

Wish I could spend more time with my baby though.
Wish he/we could figure out a way for him to work from home.
HOLY CRAP.
WE missed our Anniversary yesterday!!!!!!!
Sept. 13 - 8 years!!!!!

HONEY!!!

:(

How could we do that???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dammit.

'course, we have THREE anniversaries. Jan. 6 - we met online.
A year later Jan 6 - we got engaged.
Sept. 13 - met in person, and started living together.
June 5 - got married.

Geez. that's a bummer. Well, I'll just have to remind him tomorrow, and he'll just have to bring me home sumpthin purty to make up for it. :)

Need to start carrying my camera again

Tired of going thru the same pics every time I post... and I love the blogs that have a current daily pic to put with their writing. Like Torrie - she rocks. http://iprettymuchhateeverything.blogspot.com .

Um.. yeah, so the whole posting thing last night didn't quite work out for me.
Woke up with a BUGGER of a headache early morning.
Thank dog for my backup Zomig. Fucking stuff costs 50 bucks - for 6 doses!!! And that is 'supposed' to last a month. Yeah right. I've got THREE different medications to help me get thru every freaking month and these headaches. And sometimes, like this month, that still ain't enough.
the whole subject makes me weary.

So... GO JANELLE! GO J.D.!!!!
I love them both and hope they win their respective shows.
JD did awesome on Rock Star tonight... INXS wanted to hear 'Pretty Vegas' AGAIN! Whooo!
And they're working poor Janie on that damn dial... it's moving fast right now. Can't believe she took her sweater off while she was moving! RISKY JANIE!
I see stupid Maggie still has her stupid gloves on. I hope her hands are all sweaty and shit. GOD - those two sheep canNOT end up in the final 2!!!
It HAS to be Janie.... even if those other beeyatches don't give her the money - she'll still be the winner. Wow - this is a Tough competition.
When I've thought about how it would be nice to do this show, I always forget about how brutal some of these comps are. I could NOT do this. Wonder how long they'll go?

Saw my girl Kate yesterday, and today.
A high schooler. All grown up.
She came home with her girlfriend and THREE guys. They're hanging all over her, as I knew they would... she's got a lifetime of that coming methinks.
I miss seeing her as much, and the others, but.... definitely time to wind down from there...
Six years, nearly, is quite a haul. A few of those years.. pretty rough. But, they all came thru it, I came thru it, and, I feel so good about what I did with that family.

omg - i'm So distracted by the Hoh Comp! Who's going to slip first????
I so think Maggie will.

Lil Lady did good at the vet today. As clean a bill of health as one could expect at 13 yrs old.
So glad she's ours now.

Well, clearly I'll have to come back here once someone wins this round.
I can't take it!!!!!

A post a day keeps the migraine away....?

Oh heck, let's give it a whirl.
Something's gotta work. I'm so tired of these fucking headaches I could scream. Except, screaming would just make me want to bash my head in... which could, in turn, relieve some of this pain, but, hell... seems awfully extreme to me.

Over half my life now, suffering with these things. Thanks dad. I know it's your damn genes that gave them to me. That, or the possibly near-fatal car crash I had at 17 that knocked my brain around a bit. Either way, I'm tired of it.

I'm gonna try an experiment... to actually blog something every dang day, and see what happens.
I mean, the blogs I like, I check for something new every day, and if they don't have something, I'm all bummed and stuff.

I think it's a matter of thinking - well, crap, my day/life wasn't so special, what's to write about?
But, I think just the act of opening the lid and letting the top spill out, perhaps if I try to keep it balanced like that, I'll be able to get to the underside stuff and help myself out in the process.
I've enjoyed writing for some time... nonfiction that is. Don't know how to write fiction.. I mean, I could figure it out I suppose - I've tried a smidge. But I find it boring to write.
At the moment, the things I like to read parallel me in some way - this stage of my life, or this age, or... something that mirrors a past experience or something.
There was a book by a girl from Indiana http://www.havenkimmel.com/... a girl named zippy... she's roughly the same age as me, and she wrote about being a kid in the 70s...
I like that kind of thing - helps me with my own memories, opens the floodgates a bit.
I've had so many COMPLETELY different segments of my life, that do not relate to another in any way, except that they're just part of me.
Whole chunks of my life that I have memory of, in a vague sense only sometimes, that no longer exist... either because of space, or time, or death, or estrangement...

I have One person alive who knows my story. My whole story. Me. Inside and out. For the most part. When she's gone... I don't know how I'll feel. As it relates to me, that is.
You dig?
I mean, losing dad was.... traumatic. So sudden and violent, as cancer is. Giving me no chance in those 3 short months to pause and say, Hey, gee... I've got a lotta lose ends I really don't want to live the rest of my life with, so let's clear them up, shall we Pa?
No.. by the time it all started and ended, I was in such a blur I didn't start grieving for over a year.

Mom is the keeper of.... my history. My beginning. My middle. It started to get hazy in that middle somewhere... is anyone's relationship with their parents NOT complicated????????
I really wonder.
If I had a sprog, could I keep that uncomplicated? Could I create all that which I ever wanted, and would want?
A big part of me is ready now.... another part is scared shitless.
Look at my life! How could I not be?????
I think that's part of why I've kept my weight on... it keeps me from 'going there', because I don't wanna be pregnant this heavy. How stupid would that be???

For the past several weeks, I've had every intention of starting my Taebo experience anew... each morning, something "interferes". Tomorrow is no different. Damn cable guy is coming early (we'll see about that), then Lady to the vet, then walking Casey... etc etc.
Eh.

I WILL become the person I want to be.... just not tomorrow.

Can't wait for Fi to be here.
It's BOUND to go loads better than Lisa's visit two years ago.
OY. Fuck. Still not over that one. Have left it hanging, completely unresolved all this time too.
Been thinking about that. It bothers me to have done that to her, but hell.
The first several months, I was too fucking angry to resolve it. Then I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Then I ended up driving myself mad so much with it, combined with the stress from my job the previous two years I ended up on 'goofballs', as Denis Leary would say.
I think they're helping me. Hard to say.

Ok.. here's something.
I've made my last batch of cookie dough. When it's gone, no more.
I have a little of my coconut ice cream left. When it's gone, no more.
There's no other crap in the house... well, ok, I did get some PopTarts.. shouldn't have those here, so when those are gone.....

Need to get off the sugar horse. It's the doom of me.
Exercise might come easier if I wasn't fighting this battle every day. Wouldn't seem so pointless.

Always room for one more

Well, so here's our new little punkin.
Meet Lady.
Isn't she adorable?
Here's the story - After Katrina, and hearing about all the furry babies struggling, and all the (hopefully) rescues of them, knowing they would need new homes, I surfed around trying to find rescues to sign up with. In my surfing, I happened upon a link for my local shelter, and thought, Eh, I'll just have a look around - something I avoid like the devil because it's so heartbreaking to see the babies who need homes, know they're close by, but not be able to do anything about it because i'm already full up.
Well, I saw Lady's profile. Here it is:

Lady - URGENT 9/9DogBeagle
Size: SmallAge: SeniorSex: FemaleI.D:
Notes: GREAT NEWS! Lady is being adopted by a wonderful family in Cranston. She met her new family tonight and so far so good. We want to thank everyone who opened their hearts to take her in. A FOSTER HOME IS NEEDED BEFORE 9/9!!!!! Please consider fostering Lady until a permanent home is found. Due to a divorce Lady needs to find a home. She is such a love bug and incredibly friendly. For 13, she still has a lot of spunk in her. She's an inside dog, (she's used to being home alone for about 8 hours a day. A puppy pad has been needed recently, which she does use). Lady loves walks!! She's about 27 lbs and in good general health. She's up to date on all shots and has been spayed. She had lyme disease two years ago which was successfully treated. She was adopted herself by this family when she was four years old. She did have a tumor in her abdomen 4 years ago. The surgery was successful and she bounced back quickly. She does have 'reverse sneezes' or coughs when she gets excited. A simple rub of her throat quiets that right down. Because of this, a harness is required instead of a collar. She prefers to play outside rather than play with toys inside. She's very affectionate and housebroken. She just loves to be near people...she's a snuggler! She has been with other dogs and is good with children. She has never exhibited any aggressive tendencies around kids.
This pet is: up to date with routine shots, already house trained, altered

So!
You can see this baby was in dire straits!
We weren't really looking to add to the family, so soon after losing Max.
But, we had agreed when the right one crossed our paths, who needed us, we'd take him or her in.
Max would want it that way. CUTE as they are, we do NOT believe in buying pets, be it pet stores or breeders.
Too many lives to SAVE, for FREE.

So.... we met her, I talked to her crappy parents, who dare give up such a love... and she's been our new baby since Thursday. We couldn't love her more and she's fitting in so well with everyone else, it's amazing.
Today she had fun with the Jack Russell next door, who is a feisty one, and they had a field day. One of the many benefits of a fenced yard.

So, we're heading up to Dog Mountain next month www.huneck.com and she is totally coming with us. The two inns we're staying at are so wonderful - I should give them a mention actually... Inn at Highview in Andover, VT and Two Dog Lodge in Stowe. Can't WAIT!

OH - GREAT GREAT NEWS!
My Fabulous friend, Fi, is coming to visit me in two weeks!!!
I haven't seen her in over 8 years and I've missed her terribly - could NOT be more excited.
She's been all over the freaking planet since then... I helped her move from Indiana to Staten Island. THAT was an adventure, let me tell you.
Then she took a massive road trip across the country, thinking Montana might be the antidote to NYC. Neither place was a fit.
So, she ends up in the Canaries of all places...where I'd hoped to meet up with her at some point, but now she lives in Malta. Sounds so exotic. Maybe I can manage a jaunt there at some point. Haven't been outside the US border yet... though I've seen most of my country. I DO heartily everyone take a solo road trip, as far and as long as you can possibly manage. It's life changing.

I know I've got lots to say, but just haven't felt up to writing lately.
My husband has been doing plenty of talking for the both of us. http://blatherama.blogspot.com
Check him out. He's wicked smart and his posts are fab.

Think I've just been in a real funk since we lost Max.
Plus, August was HELL. UGH. I am NOT a fan of summer, let's just say that.
Fall weather is starting to set in, and I could not be happier.
I'll miss all the green in our backyard... we've worked so hard on it this summer. But, it'll be fun to see how it all sprouts up next spring.
Anyhoo... need to go to bed.
Never enough hours in the day... and life doesn't slow down enough... days tick away like nobody's business.
Lesson for today - truly learn to *enjoy* EACH moment of life.

The Big Easy

Funny... that's one of my favorite movies, with Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin.

Had planned to go there one day, perhaps Mardi Gras, perhaps a quieter time of year, but... I've heard nothing but good about it (except for the humidity, which I just can't take).

It's been so difficult to process the week...
I knew the storm was bad over the weekend... I mean, they almost cancelled the MTV Video awards! No, but really... there are so many weather 'incidents', and the weatherpeople always blow them up equally, which is to say Huge. Perhaps that's part of why so many didn't take it as seriously as they shoulda.
It's not like anyone coulda predicted what happened, exactly, but, measures could have been taken to help prevent this unholy mess.
Such as - strengthening the damn levees for one! Budget cuts on that??? What is that about??!
All major cities, not to mention every town and every family, should have an emergency plan lined up. The powersthatbe should have drills and plans for what to do should X Y or Z happen.
Terrorists, weather, whatever....
But it seems everyone has their head up their ass, and think things will always be hunky dory.. or will always happen to people "over there".....

I went out today to do some errands. Thought it was a sort of cool day, so wore my capris and a knit shirt and my Birkies. Was fine in the car with the AC, but once I got overwarm doing something, I couldn't cool down. Kept having to drink something, wipe my brow with a damp paper towel, and get back in the air.
I took my blood pressure pills right before I left, so, increasing, had to go to the 'ladys room'. But, was in a hurry, and driving, so... forward ho.
Then all the fucking drivers out there seemed to be just complete idiots. MAJOR smashup on the highway, actually, think I saw about 3 wrecks today... and people just totally doing whatever the fuck they wanted, without regard to other drivers around them.
I didn't set out in the car pissy, but increasingly, the hotter I got, the more I had to pee, and had a headache coming on... I was just like GRRRR. Couldn't wait to get home and change my clothes and chill out in my AC'd bedroom watching tv and surfing.

Now, I say all this because.... many many times this week I have so empathized with those poor poor folks. Without ANY of the conveniences I had today - a fresh shower, a couple meals, plenty to drink whenever I wanted, accessible bathrooms - whether I chose to use them or not, a car, with AC, able to come home and be by myself, a change of clothes, brushing my teeth, access to the outside world.......
I mean, they have had NONE of these things, for DAYS. It is UnConCeivable!!!
And the NERVE of fucking Trent Fucking Lott to say, "this isn't a time to complain", getting all pissy with Anderson Cooper on CNN - what an ASSHOLE.
Not to mention those folks are watching people drop dead right in front of them and just pushing them to the side b/c there's nothing else to do with them!

I just don't understand.
No one does, and no one has a good fucking answer.
HOOOOWWWWW is this, the U.S. of A, the "BEST", the Richest, nation in the world??????
How could our own people live like that for even a full day, let alone all fucking week??!!!!!
All the needless deaths..... that Could and Should have been prevented.

And the animals. I can't help but think about them. Poor poor babies.... the N. G. not letting people take them on the buses to Texas... Oh My God. They make it thru the biggest natural disaster ever, carrying their bundles of fur, and are told they have to just Leave them.
And then all the ones left behind when evacuating.
I can't stand it.

So much suffering.
I know it goes on all over the world. I want that to end too.
But to see it like this, close up, happening moment by moment, is just... life changing.

We've already begun talk about our own plans if something were to happen here.
I bought extra jugs of water today. Extra leashes to keep in the car. Planning to make a list of Exactly what to pack if we only had 5 minutes to get out. From clothes to wear to momentos to take in case we lost everything else. I don't want to ever be in that kind of situation if I can help it.
I watch Survivor every year and while I enjoy it, I've always said I could NEVER be on that show b/c I couldn't be without all my 'necessities' of life. And here these people are, living it.

So sad. I feel fragmented... broken into a million pieces, because, like 9/11, everything I thought I knew before is different.